Love.

I deserve it. I realize that this might be a no brainer, but sadly, I don't know if I've always believed it. Hell, I still don't know if I do. But the fact of the matter is, I recognize this now. This is I GUESS what one refers to as a break through... I think that until I believed this, perhaps I wasn't ready for it to happen. But I am now. The thing that's awful is that obviously, as I have had much proof already, it's probably going to suck. But I can't let that stop me. (CMW quote...) I am lovable, and capable. God loves me, so why can't someone else? It's gonna happen. The other thing that I realize is that not everything that happens is permanent. Optimism is not dead in me. I need to embrace that more. BUT I DON'T need to feel guilty about being sad. Just because someone has it worse than me does not trivialize my pain, or make it any less real or relevant. I can't imagine the specific pain that someone is going through, but I can imagine pain. For sure. So I don't need to feel guilty for feeling sad, or having to talk about the pain that I'm going through, because it's just as real and as relevant as other things, just in different ways.

How's that for cryptic, deep, and internalized? :)

I deserve to be loved.