bare

Since I met you I’ve had so many 4 am evenings, and 2 pm mornings. Since I met you, I’ve hurt much more than I’ve felt in a while. Since I met you, I’ve felt much more than I’ve felt in a while. Since I met you I’ve loved more than I’ve felt in a while. Confusion is my norm. I talk about perfect kiss moments, wishing to have one, and knowing that it will probably never happen. Since I met you, I had an 11:11 wish come true. Not in the way that I was expecting mind, but it still happened.

Since I met you I’ve once again turned to superstition. Since I’ve met you, I’ve come to distrust my best friend. Since I’ve met you, you’ve become my best friend. Since I’ve met you WTF is constant state of mind, not a random passing thought or emotion. Since I’ve met you my 4^th of July didn’t suck. Since I met you, I have kissed more people than in the past years combined. All of my writing, posts, tweets, have turned to the emo. I find myself praying that each day is very hot, so that I can convince you to stay in the air conditioning with me.

Since I met you, I’ve seen a foggy sunrise. Since I met you, I’ve seen more sunrises than in the rest of my life. Since I met you , I worry about what I wear. I shave my face. My emotions change at the drop of a hat. Not that they didn’t before mind, but you notice them, and call them out. I’ve learned to like it rough. I feel like I have shed myself. Not in a bad way. In a way that is startling, and yet freeing.

Since I met you, I don’t know how to end this. I don’t know where we end. There are no lines or boundaries. And yet somehow, lines and boundaries are all that I can seem to think of. Never have I felt SO close to someone, while feeling so far away.

Since I met you I have enjoyed being tickled. I have NEVER enjoyed being tickled. Since I met you, I listen to music I didn’t think I would enjoy. I enjoy it. Since I met you I have eaten things I thought I would never like. I like them. How does this happen? How can one person have such a spirit and force for good in my life one minute, and cause me SO much heartache the next?

Since I met you, I have found meaning in all the songs. They are all about me. They all pertain to my situation in one way or another. Since I met you, I cry during music a lot. Not in a sad depressing way… because sometimes it’s just good to cry.

Since I’ve met you I’ve been present. I’ve been lucid. I’ve been feeling again. I don’t walk around wondering can I do this. Because I know regardless of everything, you have faith in me. I know others do too, but I guess I haven’t known it like this. Since I met you, I think I’ve confused you, and that thrills me and makes me sad.

Since I met you, I’ve written a poem.