Sunrise

I saw the sunrise this morning. Not just the haze as the light comes up over the horizon, but literally I stared at the globe of the sun as it came up over the horizon. In an opening sequence of "The Lion King" type way. I almost started to cry. How? How does something that beautiful exist?

I've been asking that question a lot lately. How? How does CMW fix me every year? I don't think that it was as successful this year as it has been other years. The tough part was that it was hard to completely give myself over to it. I had a certain SBH on my mind. And he's always on my mind. That's another how? How can I meet someone who is so right for me in so many ways, but then isn't? And how can a person hurt another person so unintentionally? And how can a person not care that they're being hurt, since they're getting to see, to know, to feel. How can two of my best friends in the whole world, completely ignore me for a week and not even realize it? How can my pretty much best friend in the whole world be moving away from me? How do I know that despite everything, time and distance, that we'll be okay? How is it that Mollie and I have never been interested in the same guy before? How are Claire and I able to literally talk as though no time has passed? How do I deal with the fact that my little brother is going to college? How do I go to sleep? Question after question after question. But looking at that sunrise, seems to make them all okay.

I still can't get over how beautiful it was.