Angsty...

So-

I am not writing this to get any sympathy or are you okay comments or anything. I hate that shit. Like when people write sad/emo Facebook statuses, it pisses me off. No I'm just writing this because I don't know what to do with it right now. And writing seems to be the right thing.

I think that I may have had a slight panic attack at work tonight, and I don't really know why. I was reading, and all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was going to vomit and pee myself. I got this horrible taste in my mouth that still hasn't gone away. I felt simultaneously starving, and like I couldn't get myself to swallow a piece of food if I tried. Oh and I almost burst into tears. I also felt worthless. And stupid. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to be friends with me, let alone date me. I also felt like I couldn't stand to talk to anyone. I couldn't stand myself. It's the most bizarre feeling I've ever had in my life. Like I said, I didn't know what to do with this, and eventually it passed. But it took a while. It just kinda scared me. It made me wonder: "Is something fundamentally wrong with me?" I don't think that it is. I just think that I've got lots of pent up anger and sadness right now. I don't know what to do with it. I know that I am not suicidal. I just don't know. But it was good to get it out here.